Monday, October 5, 2015

3 Months

Three months have passed since I had my miscarriage.
Three months have passed since I sat in a hospital while our doctor told me our baby was gone.
Three months have passed since we felt the deepest grief we have felt in our lives thus far.

Three months.

We don't think about it daily now but we think about it often.

Mason will be two years old in 27 days. We thought by now he may already be a big brother. See, we began trying for our second baby the same month that Mason turned one. We tried for six months before becoming pregnant.

Then nine precious weeks passed and we were well on our way. And then, the miscarriage. Our sweet baby went to heaven.

Then three more months have passed and now, Mason is almost two and he's not any closer to being a big brother to a baby here on earth than he was 11 months ago.

I KNOW and BELIEVE that God has a plan and sometimes/often times, it is different from our own. But man, I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I'm ready for another sweet baby to be in our house.

Mason is the sweetest boy around. He lights up our lives each day. And you know what? He loves babies. Adores them. Smiles at them. Wants to touch them. I ache for him to be able to hold his baby brother or sister.

I pray that day isn't too far away.

**Thank you Lord for the major blessings you've given us. Just as I was able to see on that day three months ago, I can still see your hand. I know that there are reasons for the way things happen. But this? This is my heart. I'm sad and I'm ready for another baby whenever you bless us with one.**

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