I would say that 99% of those statements from people easily roll off my back. However, one question that people have asked me has kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, I am not angry about this at all but I just feel like I want to say something about it.
The question is this:
"Is your husband babysitting Mason?"
Here's the thing...
My husband is NOT Mason's babysitter. My husband is Mason's father. It is not a "Job" for him to be at home with Mason while I'm out maybe at work or with friends etc. In fact, he LOVES spending time with him.
Babysitting, to me, insinuates that someone who didn't provide half of the child's DNA keeps the child for a short period of time and then is "done". Matt is soooo much more than that. He feeds Mason. He dresses him. He changes his diapers. He puts him down to rest. He bathes him. He plays with him. He loves him. He hugs him. He kisses him. He parents him.
Matt's role is so much more important than that of babysitter. (That is not to say that a babysitter's role is not important. Trust me, when the time comes, I will love having a babysitter to care for our little guy when we are out.)
I realize that culture seems to think that if a man is with his children that it is something he must have been forced to do. I, however, have an awesome husband who happens to be an amazing Dad to our little guy.
And for us, part of being a parent means spending time with your children.
Now, let me just say this. I realize that most people (maybe even all?) who ask the above question mean absolutely no harm by it. That's why when I'm asked this question, my response is usually this: "Matt's spending the day with him while I'm working." I don't bring attention to the question or anything.
My husband is NOT Mason's babysitter. My husband is Mason's father. It is not a "Job" for him to be at home with Mason while I'm out maybe at work or with friends etc. In fact, he LOVES spending time with him.
Babysitting, to me, insinuates that someone who didn't provide half of the child's DNA keeps the child for a short period of time and then is "done". Matt is soooo much more than that. He feeds Mason. He dresses him. He changes his diapers. He puts him down to rest. He bathes him. He plays with him. He loves him. He hugs him. He kisses him. He parents him.
Matt's role is so much more important than that of babysitter. (That is not to say that a babysitter's role is not important. Trust me, when the time comes, I will love having a babysitter to care for our little guy when we are out.)
I realize that culture seems to think that if a man is with his children that it is something he must have been forced to do. I, however, have an awesome husband who happens to be an amazing Dad to our little guy.
And for us, part of being a parent means spending time with your children.
Now, let me just say this. I realize that most people (maybe even all?) who ask the above question mean absolutely no harm by it. That's why when I'm asked this question, my response is usually this: "Matt's spending the day with him while I'm working." I don't bring attention to the question or anything.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me an awesome husband in Matt and for him being an AMAZING Dad to Mason. I do not take that blessing lightly.
Oh gracious, you are so very right and I know I've made this mistake so often. I'll keep this in mind for the future so I can (hopefully) improve what I say! So glad you and Matt are snuggling up on that adorable boy. :)
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